Presence

I've been thinking a lot lately about presence; being in a particular location....being in one place, but not just any place, but being in the same place as your body. So often, I find myself drifting away from the place I am. I mentally just move onward and away from the spot my body finds itself. To be more honest, I mentally move away from the place I've chosen to locate my body. My mind drifts. My thoughts move across a landscape of ideas fashioned out of desires, fears, petty conceits and utopian dreams. I find myself no longer present. This is probably an acceptable thing to do. Most humans find themselves "in their own headspace" more often than they realize. My problem is not that I mentally drift; my problem is that I do it frequently when I am with others.

I want to be a better man (thank you Jack Nicholson). I want to be the guy that can make someone feel like they are the only one in the room. That intense and interested focus that makes a person feel special, alive and worthy is a gift that I would love to be given. I don't want to fake presence, I actually want to be present. What I don't want anymore is to find myself realizing that I began thinking about puppets, which leads to thinking about puppies, which leads to thinking about frisbee golf and the fact that I've never used my frisbee golf set I was given for Christmas two years ago.

That's what I'm thinking about today. Being present. It's quite a ministry.